Parents are the keys to their children’s stability, their emotional and mental health, and their very life. Their influence permeates the entire lives of their children. This parental influence is reflected in how children respond to themselves, to their other parent, to other adults in society, to a stepparent, and to their future spouse.

To themselves. Since children and their parents are of the same biology, how the children view their parents is how they will view themselves. If they respect their parents, they will respect themselves. And if they disrespect their parents, they will carry this same viewpoint of themselves throughout their lives.

To the other parent. How children respond to one parent is how they will likely respond to the other. If they honor and obey one parent, they will likely honor and obey the other. And if they disrespect one parent, they are very liable to disrespect the other.

To other adults. How children behave toward one or both parents strongly determines how they will interact with adults in society with whom they have no biological connection—with teachers, coaches, persons in authority, friends of their parents.

To a stepparent. True, lasting relationships between stepparents and their stepchildren begin with the children’s good relationship with their own parents. The relationship between a stepparent and a stepchild is naturally problematic. However, if a child learns to maintain a good relationship with a difficult parent, the child will have developed the necessary habits to enjoy a good relationship with a stepparent. This is why stepparents must seek to benefit all parent/child connections with their full blessing and support.

To a future spouse. Good relationships with parents will carry over to the relationship children will have with their future spouse. As in all relationships people make mistakes and fail one another. Spouses will say and do things that aggravate and hurt each other’s feelings. If a child has learned to separate from the parent, who gave that child life, the now adult child will have the means to do it again, but this time to separate from a spouse. The greater the degree of emotional separation between children and parents, the greater the probability of marital separation.

Resources: Building Emotionally Healthy Children: Gatekeepers, and Loving Your Stepfamily: The Art of Making Your Blending Family Work, by Dr. Donald R. Partridge. For a more comprehensive list of materials please go to our store.